Delusional: characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.
If you have never seen the movie "The Informant" starring Matt Damon, I highly recommend watching it if you want to see on the big screen how the mind of a delusional narcissist works.
I watched this movie several months ago having no knowledge of what it was about or that it was based on a true story but as the movie progressed I started recognizing patterns and similarities in the main character and his family that had happened in my own life and it creeped me out big time. My son watched it and it was like reliving his own life when he was young with his father. The similarities were eerily familiar.
Narcissists live in the land of delusion and not only do they destroy the lives of everyone around them with their grandiose delusions but their own lives as well because they convince themselves that their fabrications and lies are the truth.
What does the Bible say about deceit? It is very clear in the Bible that deceit is an act that God hates. "There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers" (Proverbs 6:16-19).
Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
This applies to all of us but it especially highlights the moral failings of a narcissist. Rather than try to fix the problems they have brought upon themselves they lie and then create more lies to cover over the previous lies and just dig their holes deeper, becoming a human wrecking ball to all around them.
When I first began in my support group and learned that I would have to at one point forgive my abuser, I was outraged thinking that the women in this group had no real idea of what I had just gone through. Over time, I learned that forgiveness in one of the most important components to my own healing and is at the core of the gospel.
There is a parable in the bible about the wicked servant who owed his master more money than he could ever repay in a lifetime and when the master was ready to throw him in debtor's prison he plead for mercy and was forgiven the great debt. He then turned around and found one of his underlings who owed him a pittance and demanded payment but when he was asked to show mercy he threw his underling in jail. When the master was told by the other servants what the man had done who he had forgiven the great debt his response was this: "You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
This parable is to demonstrate that we are all great sinners before God and that we owe Him a far greater debt of sin than any human, as evil as they can be on this earth, owes to us. The fact that my narcissist is so self deluded has helped in a small way to enable me to forgive him but it is an continual process not a one time event.
I have come to know many women in the past few years unto whom great evil has been perpetrated by people who have no conscience, are evil to the core and to whom repentance would be a laughable matter. Forgiveness is the furthest thing from their minds....they want justice and I want it for them!
The courts often do not do what is right. They do not always protect the true victims and end up rewarding the abusers and because of this, people grow angry at God:
Matthew 24:12 "And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold."
Forgiveness is not for the abuser, it is to free the victim (you and me) from the shackles of unrelenting hate, anger and bitterness. Even if they never repent which most don't, the forgiveness is to free you from them and doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation.
There is a book I have come across lately that I would recommend that was written by a woman who was serially raped by her step father for years who was a deacon in his church! The book details her pain and long journey to discovering the freeing power of forgiveness.
The book is available on Amazon. Click here if you want to learn more.
